FindingMiself

Welcome,“For the past Two years I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life , my career. Whether I wanted to work or stay at home with my 2 year old then, start a business or just do something to make me productive”

• Let me take you a little bit back

• The Background

• When I moved to another country I didn’t know what I was going to do. I had no idea what I was doing but I had to start over, not because something went bad but because I had no choice.We had been making plans of relocating for almost two years, but now that it was finally time to actually move it was so hard especially leaving all the relatives and friends behind and going to a country where I didn’t know anyone but my husband and a few other people. But by the grace of God we managed to move and started a new life.

• My Expectations

• People here mind their own business, nobody has time to be checking on who everybody is busy. I slowly adapted to that and before I knew it I had also changed and become this new person who only a few things mattered hence lost a lot of friends who couldn’t understand the new me, the time difference, the busy me especially that I had become a full time stay at home mom to my little boy “Awesome”. My husband worked full time and I had to manage the house by myself everyday, turns out it’s what most of the women here do, they stay at home and the husbands go for the daily hustles. It was totally different with me being back home where I had a maid who would take care of my little boy and did all the house chores while I went to work
• After a while and a lot of research through social media I finally realized I just can’t seat at home and wait for my husband to bring in income so I started a ” braiding hair” business which was going ok until I realized I was pregnant.

• The Reality

• Being pregnant in a country where you don’t have relatives or close friends to be there for you is a nightmare but I thank God I met the most caring people after we moved to another town. This particular town is small, there aren’t many people. I could braid occasionally and everything became hard and also morning sicknesses were terrible. I could sleep almost half of the day. I could watch TV, play a little with Awesome etc. In the process of watching TV, I watched a lot of YouTube videos where I then discovered there’s more to me than I can ever imagine. Why??
• My husband always said I am unstoppable, I can do anything. Those words encouraged me a lot and in the end I finally found ways to make myself and my son happy and busy. I could homeschool, I took him at the park for play dates, I joined a Mum club at church, we started having a lot of fun until he started 3K. Even though it was for a few hours, I missed having him every moment, I then realized he was all I needed after all. Still pregnant and still doing a lot of research I managed to start taking mini videos of myself talking things that came to my mind but I could not share them yet. I remember making a video, it was pretty good, I sent it to my bestfriend and she said ” you’re doing good” but for me to post it I didn’t have the courage, I didn’t know what people would think, I didnt know if they’ll like it or not, alot of crazy things were going on in my head. I then realised a lot of people start exactly where I was, I looked at big youtubers, their oldest videos were terrible but they worked hard and became better. Then I told myself I can do this. From nowhere I got alot of courage. It wasn’t until Amy was born that I wanted to just end it all……!!!

• Amy Is Home

• Our little girl was born and after we left the hospital I was traumatized, it was because Awesome’s birth was so different with Amy’s. I hated myself, I could get angry at little things, I just wanted to be alone and I think that is what most women experience after birth, but for me being the first time it got to me. I didn’t know what to do and my hormones were getting the best out of me but I thank God I found the most calm and patient partner who understood exactly what I was going through. It was hard for me but its only now that I realised it was also hard for him to balance work, stay with me at home and take care of the kids while I recovered. I thank God for people at my church, our close friends and family who were constantly checking up on us, words fail me on how these people treated us. I am just grateful. I recovered quickly because of their support. We all need people at the end of the day…..

• Finding Myself

• 
• We had late nights, having a very bad sleeping pattern because baby Amy had not adapted to her sleeping pattern yet. I had lots of time to just do a lot of research on what and how I can improve my life not financially but in all that is expected of me as a mother, a wife,a friend and most of all as ME. I remember watching a lot of videos of this lady who was also a stay at home mom. She was in my situation and I realised I am even better off. I kept telling myself I can do that if she can do it. I got inspired in many ways. I just like how these content creators help you with full details on what you can do to get where they are at your own time, thats kindness, y’all be blessed.
• So I bought some hair on eBay, my plan wasn’t and is still not to spend much. I braided and recorded everything that I was doing, the outcome was so amazing I didn’t believe I could do that and after a lot of more reading and editing I finally realized “THAT’S IT!!! that’s what I want to do, FOR ME!! I finally posted it on YouTube, and also started this blog.

• With All That Said……

• There will be things that will make you scared,you will doubt yourself and that’s normal. There will be people who will not wish you well. There will be a lot of things that will hinder you from achieving your goal and your dreams but at the end of the day
• You have to ask God to guide you and show you which path and direction to take, talk to God and tell him exactly what you want and he always delivers.
• You have to be strong, get out of your comfort zone and face your fears
• Research and read alot of books for more knowledge
• Don’t do things to please anyone but yourself, you owe yourself that much
• Share your experiences and ask alot of questions where you dont understand
• Dont give Up, its going to get hard but keep pushing
• Don’t compare your 1st page to someone else’s last page
• Always remember some people have it worse
• Stay far away from negative people, I mean very far away
• Always remember everyone of us has a gift, it all comes in different ways
• Good things take time so always trust the process
• We all have something going on but that doesn’t mean we should give up, at the end of the day ITS OK TO START OVER you don’t owe anyone an explanation and people have to respect that.

• Get Out of bed today and do something that makes you happy”

• I hope you enjoyed reading this, thank you for stopping by and be sure to come back and read more as I am still sharing some of my life’s experiences
• Hugs😊
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Subscribe to my Youtube: https://youtu.be/a-LNz9OhA0M

Link to the hair: https://m.ebay.com/itm/KIMA-KALON-CROCHET-BRAID-LARGE-20-3PACK-DEAL-/332637674660?